Thursday, July 28, 2011

I am a grumpy monster.

That is not some kind of funny joke title.  I awoke today with what I have been informed is a pretty severe case of strep throat.  In addition to making me feel like crap physically, I also vaguely feel as if punching someone would alleviate my suffering.  Luckily, I have been unable even to sit up for longer than ten minutes, let alone stand and deliver fist-flavored agony to an unsuspecting victim.

I have, however, been able to aggressively scour the internet (in the last two hours, at least.  Prior to that time, even attempting to use my vision was a task beyond my energy.) and I have located something I would like very much to have in my life.

Coach Court Bag

At $258, do I think I'm going to be obtaining this any time soon?  No, of course not, especially since I am too contagious to go to the place where I do the working and make the monies that would buy this.  But, will clinging to the idea of a charming shoulder bag as I desperately attempt to choke down overcooked macaroni and cheese make me feel better?  You had better hope so.  My fists won't be this weak forever.

Update: Just nearly passed out trying to put a different pair of underwear on.  I am humbled.

Friday, July 22, 2011

True Lies

My blog title: truth or lies?

How, you might be asking yourself, is it possible that I find myself in a crowded el car in Chicago in the middle of the summer?

Good question, world. Good question.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Howdy stranger, ain't seen you 'round these parts before.

Yesterday evening, I went to my cousin Dakota's baby shower.  As the title of this post indicates, the theme was Western, and it was embraced to the fullest extent.

That's my Aunt Colleen, Aunt Patty, and my mother doing what they referred to as a "Western pose."  Yeah, I'm not sure either, but they have a good time in life.  The shower was held in the stables on my aunt's farm, and all the trappings of the evening took off from there.  And I got to drink lemonade out of a glass jar!  It was very exciting.

The place cards looked like they were racing!  Mine was red.  This pleased me.
This is the woman who cares for my aunt's horses unceasingly.  She has an excellent sense of humor.

Aaaaaaand, I wore an outfit!

I thought the tan tones in the skirt, the belt, and the shoes gave the outfit a nice Old West feel.  Goodness knows I can't resist navy, so I threw on my semi-fancy Zara top.  I was both comfortable and stylish.  Except it was hot, so my feet swelled, but I'm not complaining since this was a party for a pregnant person and I understand your feet swell quite a bit during that adventure.  Nevertheless, the shower was absolutely beautiful.  I'm thrilled for my cousin and can't wait to meet her little boy or girl!

Blouse: Zara
Skirt: J. Crew
Belt: Fossil
Wedges: Tahari
Bracelet: Gifted

Monday, July 11, 2011

Is everything bigger in Texas?

Last weekend, one of my friends from high school, Kendall, had a little get together in celebration of her graduation and impending move to Houston, from which she had moved to NJ in 7th grade and to which she was always eager to return.  In addition to having some badass margaritas at said party, she looked extremely fashionable, rocking the maxi dress and layering it.

I was impressed.  Don't she look lovely in spite of my obviously inadequate skills as a photographer?  Aside from the murderous mosquitoes and flies that haunt these parts in July, it was a beautiful night, and I was very happy to see some old friends.  Plus we drank the margaritas out of adorable jam jars.  Win.  I'll miss Kendall terribly, but I guess that's just one more reason to get my ass down to Houston.

P.S. I remember that I promised more outfit posts, but I seem to have forgotten that all I wear in the summer is a bathing suit and a cover-up.  I shall try to do better.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Necessities: Concealer

Errrrrbody knows you need a good under eye concealer to get by, amiright?  That's what I thought.  I know, weird post for the middle of the summer, right?  But, you know, we can't all go makeup-less.  I happen to be afflicted with hereditary dark circles, so no matter how much sleep I get (which is a lot, 'cause I got mad priorities in the sleep division), I still look a little bit like I got punched in the face all the time.  This is not, I think we can agree, the ideal look.  So while I strip down my makeup routine significantly once my summer tan makes its triumphant arrival, I still gotta be taking care of those black and blues (jk, I ain't no thug).

After years of strugs, last winter I finally found a method to the madness that worked for me.  I had been using NARS concealer, but it wasn't quite getting the job done, especially in the winter months when I look like death warmed over from lack of sun exposure.  My best friend, Stephanie, adores Bobbi Brown products, so I thought I would check out their options for under eye circle combating and boy, was I pleased.

I use the corrector in Light Bisque and the concealer in Warm Ivory since I am apparently far paler than I thought.  I did have to pick up a concealer brush in order to apply the product, but since I dropped a cool fifty dollars on the makeup, I hit up my local CVS for the cheap version of the event.  I prefer nice brushes, but the ones I have haven't failed me yet, and I won't want to murder someone if I accidentally lose them.

If you could pick a theme for my "Necessities" posts, it should probably be that it's about something I either want desperately or am suddenly lacking in my life.  It is fitting, therefore, that I have just run out of these products and will need to sell a couple of pints of blood in order to replenish my supply (I realize that this would make my dark circles worse in the effort to make them better).

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

I love fireworks, you can't even stop me.

I love the 4th of July, not least of all because it usually ends in a delicious feast of summer food.  Because I am a moron and a bad blogger, as we have repeatedly established here, I didn't have my real camera with me on the 3rd or the 4th, so you're just going to have to deal with the fact that I'm showing you pictures of fireworks from my cell phone.

Rewarding post, right?

Friday, July 1, 2011

Vice Report: Week of 6/27/11

You thought I had forgotten all the gimmicks I came up with during my time in the frozen tundra, didn't you?  Well, the Vice Report rears its ugly head once more!  Mwahaha!

I know, you're really glad you have that image in your life now.  ANYWAY, since today marks the end of the first week since my return to New Jersey, it makes sense that the one thing I have totally overloaded on is...

THE BEACH.  Except I haven't even overloaded.  I went everyday in the past week that it was nice enough to be outside, and sometimes when it wasn't (it probably helps that I work there in addition to lounging there), and I still don't feel like I got enough time with my precious oceanside haven.  But in case you were worried that this post would be fashion-free, boy do I have a treat for you.

First of all:

Literally, a perfect day. And no, palm trees are not native to New Jersey, but only the state of Texas has more completely perfected the art of doing exactly what it wants, when it wants.  The weather was beautiful, and I went with my twin and my friend Roo to see an old friend from high school's band play at a beachside bar a few steps down from my beach club. Since they're a cover band, I had a pretty lovely time lounging in the sun and listening to some fun songs from my extremely distant youth (sarcasm; this is the last time I will point it out).

The dress code for the evening was...casual...

Shoes and masculinity optional
Shirt optional, masculinity mandatory

I don't know those people, but if they see this one day, I mean no harm.  But certainly, a good time was had by all, and the night left me to revel in the glory of being able to go to a bar ten minutes from my house and be at the beach at the same time.  Which I love.  The beach, that is.  IN CASE YOU DIDN'T GET THAT YET.  I think the horse is officially dead.

I hope to post some time this weekend, but in case I don't get to, Happy 4th of July to all of my American readers, and happy first weekend in July to everyone else.  I intend to find my camera and drag it out of the wreckage formerly known as my possessions.  Expect an influx of pictures of fireworks.