Wednesday, June 29, 2011

I can be 21 forever?

Screw you, I'm already twenty-two.

When I get dressed in the morning, I literally always try to put on something that will be the most flattering to my appearance.  I figure out what I have, and then I come up with an outfit that is the absolute best I can do that day.  Does that mean things get a little struggle-y on laundry day?  Yes, yes it does.  But I persevere, and I like to think it turns out okay more often than not.

This is also an approach I use when shopping for new articles of clothing.  I always look for something that will accentuate my best features.  I don't think there's anything wrong with my approach.  In fact, I think I might go so far as to say my approach is the right one.  And I don't like expressing opinions, if I can avoid it.

THIS ITEM WILL NEVER BE THE MOST FLATTERING THING ANYONE CAN WEAR.  I don't care how hot you are.  I don't care if you bought your breasts from a very nice surgeon, ensuring you would never need to wear a bra again.  I don't care if you literally have the perfect body, which I am reasonably sure isn't actually a real thing.  There is no excuse for a $25 animal printed tube top jumpsuit made of cheap, very thin fabric.  It seems to me that this item was created as an experiment to see if someone could make an article of clothing destined to fit everyone wrong in at least one place.  I'm calling shenanigans on this one.  For shame, for shame.  Let us not reduce 70s Bohemian revival to this travesty.

Also, this:

I'm pretty sure I wore something like that that as a costume circa 1994, when the neon wreckage of the 80s was bleeding all over my childhood.

Happy Wednesday!  Blog name change still pending, although I am shocked to see the support for the good old placeholder "Bitches Ain't Shit."


Tereza {Drastic Plastic} said...

When it come's to clothes, I wish that too :).
I love forever 21, we don't have here but every time I leave the country I like to get something new from them.

Anonymous said...

struggle-y = awesome.